Catch of the Day

Someone’s been eavesdropping and this time I want to know who. I tell you, there’s a bloody mole inside this department and when I find out who it is, I’ll have his balls.

Just because there’s no smoke doesn’t mean there’s no fire.” “So you’re the fireman then.” “I prefer to think of myself as a knight in shining armour.

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “That you make love to me now. Right here, right now.” Once again, he kept her waiting, but when he did speak, it made sense. “Can we do it on the grass over there, because this rock is knackering my knee?”

“It says here that he died from a basilar skull fracture leading to intraparenchymal haemorrhaging.” Smiling, he leant back again, knowing what was coming next. “What’s that in English?” “He bashed his head on the kerb and it stoved his head in.”

“Is he a relative of Schwarzenegger by any chance?” “Unlikely. He’s not ugly enough for that, but he’s probably about the same size, bigger perhaps.”

“Two reports.” She then regretted being so blunt and quickly picked up on the fact that he wanted to be told something rather than having to read it. “And we both agree that there’s an IRA link to his assassination in three days’ time.”